Guess what...
All so suddenly...
我失恋了...
I keep asking myself why this happened to me again...
Why...
Isn't it I am a great lover?
Isn't it I changed?
Isn't it I showed more love where i not used to show?
I love him so so so so much...
Why? why a relationship is means to be end?
Why? Why can't I deserve a forever love? a forever partner?
Why... why my Venice trip has to be canceled because I break up with my first love
And now Rome trip is going to be canceled because I break up again...
Why... how can I accept all these fact....
We were really good, aren't we?
We were loving, aren't we?
I wish things could be back to normal...
That's why I wouldn't post this post so soon....
I wish what has happened is just a dream...
A horror dream that always woke me up in the middle of the night...
I know I love him...
I love him...
I just love him...
I could actually let him go if he will be happy there after...
But I know I could give him happiness
25.06.2009
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Calmed down...
Thought about it twice...
I understand everything...or at least more than half...
You are just not that into me...
You need a girl who can be with you when you needed her...
And disappear when you don't need it...
You will gonna show your 100% commitment when you are in the mood to love...
And when you are not... you will feel you being forced to do so...
A normal things that you did for me you feel it is a pain for you...
Things I feel it suppose to be sweet and romantic but you feel you are forced to be a toy...
A basic girl friend request you felt it is unreasonable...
And you wouldn't understand what 'love' is suppose to mean...
If you love me...
Bitter can be tasted as sweet...
Your kind of pain would never exist...
Today...
I will cry out loud for whole day...
I dont mind cry till my eyes blind...
I dont mind anything anymore...
I am just going to let him go...
far far away...
I am dead person today...
Just for today
26.06.2009
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I am not sure am I going to publish this post...
It has been here for 3 days...
I am kind of like mmmm....
Somewhere near to 100% to accept the fact that everything is over...
I know... you are kind of like showing you are actually regretted...
Don't you realize that you are so uncertain about it...?
Your so call 'I guess...' or 'I think...' ?
Love...
Isn't a thing that come when you ask for it....
Drain away when you don't need it...
When I do so much just to get you back...
You told me you are very certain on your decision...
And when I'm ok with it and let you go...
You came back to me...
It is fun?
No, it is not...
So, why?
Do you think it's easy for me to let you go?
NO!! I been finding reasons and excuses just to let you go....
Do you think the pain I had for past 2 days is nice?
NO!! It is suck!! suck!! suck!!
And now...
Imperfections of someone we care make us realize small things that appears will leaves millions of motions when they're gone forever
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