Thursday 19 August 2010

My happiness are start taking holiday from me...

My life was occupied by happiness for quite a while...
Everything was great! fine! perfect! just nice...
I love my 2010... The perfect year for me...
Found my true love... Ruby got job... Live in the nicest house ever... travel the world... met a gang of true friendsss.... have lots of fun... Laugh a lot... eat a lot... play a lot...

Are these things gonna end like really soon?
I presume so...
People are leaving... My love is leaving...
My happiness were starting to leave...
Bad lucks are approaching me...

Started from day before yesterday....
Received a call telling me that I was not lucky enough to get the job...
The employer said they are satisfied with my interview and like the way I answered the questions... I was a front runner but not until they interview a guy who has more job experience than me but required the same salary that I do...

I wasn't too sad about the news...
Then went back home... Got a letter from my flat agency...
Thought they are sending the cheque for me for the lock reimbursement...
Guess what! R A Bennett!! Don't ever go for this agency...
Our contract end on the 14 October... they want us to sign another 6 months contract which our previous agency, HMT and Y&G had never asked us to do that....
Ok... nvm.... I don't mind... that is acceptable... and guess what... they want us to pay a contract extension fees for £125 plus VAT!!! Fxxxking hell!!!! I couldn't believe this! I read and read and read again to make sure I didn't read them wrong! But Yeah! They are really ridiculous!!!
And then!! not only that!! Our rent was originally £450... and guess what!!! They wanna increase it to £480 for the following six months!!!! fuxk them la!!! for a bed room flat and they charging for this rate!!!! RIDICULOUS!!!!

I was totally pulled down by this news... I don't know where to move and what to do next a part from keep hunting for job in another city...
I hope all these are forceful enough to push to the extreme and make a change in my life...

All these weren't worst enough compare to arguing with Eddie...
We don't usually argue... and even so... it wouldn't be a big one...
But yesterday after a great dinner with woo they all...
We had an argument ... and it really hurt and damaging the relationship...
I just don't know how to hold on my temper... and not throwing words anymore...
Too much stress and problems recently and I really couldn't help it...

I don't know who's right and wrong...
Don't know how to make a move...
I wish things can be as great as before...
I wish no one is leaving..
I wish there is no options for me to choose and just give me the right thing to do...
I wish I am a mummy or daddy daughter... dependent on them...
Don't stay away from home at all...

Thanks my twins sis for a lovely dinner...
I love the way we watch Kang Xi and laugh out loud together...
I love the way we sat around and chit chat about life and joke around...
I love sharing my stories with all of you...
I wish we could have done this a year ago... so that we have more chance to get together...
I am really sad... really sad to be alone....
Am I gonna be miserable alone here...

I'm sad today... Don't feel like talking...
At this time... the only thing I feel like doing is work work and work....
Work that needs every single part of my brain to work...
Work that needs lot of energy to complete...

I am unhappy...
I am down...
I am sad...

I hope this is just for a day...
As I really forgot... how to deal with sadness...

If only... I have a bulldog...

3 comments:

- E - said...

hey don let those things knocked u down! get back up and fight for it. don give up! i believe all of us don wanna see u like this. cheer up my dear. finger cross and stay positive :) ur friends and i will always support u :) get back up k? u r named as ''sam hou'' (3 good) i believe ur good will, brings u great return 1day :) thats what i used to believe :) keep it on, never give up. i'll always there for u if u need anything. So u r not alone actually :)

neo~esTheR said...

hey darling, cheer up...solve problem one by one la, if u r not planning to move, u have no choice but to pay them right...try negotiate with them, if really can't, n u feel so comfortable staying there, just pay la...i think u deserve a better accom since u r away fr home...should treat yourself better...if u dun think so, I am telling u "You should"...

continue to apply for job, anyhow, u shd not be too worry, u r not jobless now

let me know if u need any help...call me anytime

luv you and take care

scattered mind.... said...

hhmmm... esther i like your idea.. treat yourself better since this is not your home and you would seek more need when you are away from home..

well.. we are all here for you :).. and you know.. i am just a call away.. if you need anything.. just give me a call and i will be there at your door step in 4 hours ;).. not a problem at all... :D..

and if you need to talk to someone.. we are here for you.. give any one of us a ring.. and no matter what.. we will be listening.. you wont have to feel bad or guilty..

but it is time.. you learn to live on your own.. from my experience.. its not really that bad.. well.. its difficult in the beginning.. but soon you will get over it.. and its nice to look forward to weekends where you can meet up with friends and all.. and you will learn to find happiness in that:)..

and definitely.. keep applying for job.. you honestly deserve better.. dont use your logic thinking it wouldnt work because of all the other factors.. just be positive..

your love isnt going for long.. he will be back soon...:D.. so not worry.. but just remember.. we are all here for you :)..

love you very much my friend :)
take it easy! :)