E & J has come to an end....

Hi... It was 2 years ago since I last blog...
I don't think there is anyone else out there reading my blog...
Which is good...

I have not been doing very well...
As I just lost a 3 years relationship...
A relationship that I initially thought...
Will last eternally...

I am very reluctant to let go the relationship...
I don't feel like giving up...
I seriously don't... But... unfortunately... a relationship doesn't work
when... you are the only one who has been trying...

I will let it go... let it go... let it go slowly...
I have been asking my friend...
Was I like this when I broke up with the previous two relationships...

Ruby says... no... when I ended with Dominic... it seems so easy for me...
Well... I dont think so...

Then she said... When I end with Rex... I have had some hard time...

I am afraid of the sad feeling... And it is so difficult for me to cope with it....
Maybe... I have not been having hard time like this for quite some time...

I.....
I just got to be strong... I just got to believe....
This is a good decision for me as this is what he said...
I  just got to believe him... I just got to believe him....

Babe... babe... I really miss your appearance...
I really miss you...
I miss the way you look at me... I miss hugging you... Miss the way we hold our hand...
Miss the way we hug each other... I miss you so much...

I got no idea... how to let go... I deleted your mobile... I deleted your messages... deleted your what's app... deleted you from FB.... whatelse... all these doesnt mean... you will be deleted from my mind....

Move on... what does it mean... as I cant force myself from not missing you...

I am tired... I wanna sleep... good night